Time, and Where it Goes on Your Wedding Day

By Jen Capone 

As I pull out my client’s charts and review their information, I immediately form an image in my mind about the Time.  I think visually. Time becomes a shape, and the shape of the client’s day, and all the things that need to fit into it, begins to morph. This might be an odd concept for you. Let me try to explain how I particularly see time on a wedding day. Not every photographer thinks this way, that would be scary. But we do have a subliminal list of things that we anticipate, and these things are what add or subtract time to a realistic photography schedule.

I begin while the bride prepares. I ask who is doing the hair and make-up. And who else is getting their hair done at the same time. And do we know this person? And is there enough time?  I don’t usually ask what the back of the dress looks like or if they have practiced getting dressed. However, I do ask what time they believe the dress will go on. Then I will already have mapped out how long it takes to get from here to the ceremony location. Then there’s some wedding algebra about how many bridesmaids there are, which determines how many bags there are to carry, how many elevators will need to be used, and how many times someone will stop to look in the mirror to check their lipstick. Not to mention how many phone calls those bridesmaids will make to their dates or husbands about getting something that they forgot.  These are the things that I subconsciously have in my mind. I use them to edify my client’s choice or to suggest a different time to put on the dress. Here, Time is a sphere that gets bigger or smaller according to when we need to leave.

Sometimes it’s easier to get ready at the same place where the ceremony will be. But not always. Once, I was photographing a beautiful wedding where the bride was preparing in a room overlooking the ceremony location. She watched all the guests be seated while the make-up was going on. Her noon wedding? Her make-up was done at 12:15. No one panicked. It was fantastic. But that’s not ideal for everyone. Sometimes a little panic keeps things on schedule.  She knew her comfort zone and planned to it.

The ceremony. Getting out of a limo and into a building without being seen is not always easy. A big white dress is not stealthy, nor is it the attire of choice for any ninja. You will be seen by someone. They will be someone you love. We know this because it’s your wedding and most of the people there were invited by you. However, keep moving. Smile, wave, and go compose yourself. It’s zero hour.  Here, Time is a funnel.

I love ceremonies. The rush, the preparation, the anxiety all brings us to this moment when nothing else needs to be done.  Here is where I know that I don’t have to watch the clock. Catholic mass? 1 hour. Protestant? 20-30 minutes. Jewish? Ketubah + 20 minutes. Quaker? 10 minutes. Indian? Then it depends and we talk about that. But I know that this is where time is on my side. No one has to go anywhere. We’re already here. Time is a snow globe.  It’s been shaken. The glitter is settling while it sits peacefully.

This brings me to the delightful chaos of what happens next. The receiving line. This can be my biggest variable. I base my advice here on what my client wants later. Are we going to the art museum for photography? Do we have lots of driving to get to the reception? Are you going to be at your cocktail hour or are we using the time for photography?  Does everyone know where we’re going? Is there a parent or grandparent that needs assistance with ambulation?

I had a receiving line. And I’m glad. However, we had lots of time until the cocktail hour. That was in 1993.

If you have a line, here’s my advice. You can kiss and shake hands, receive a blessing, give directions, and introduce 3 people per minute to your parents and new spouse. If 100 people came to the ceremony, that’s about half an hour.  Enjoy this half hour and receive all the love that your guests want to give you, hence the “receiving”. Shine. But keep it moving. You’ll see them at cocktail. Here, Time is a long tube full of small things, with fringe at the end.

If you are having your formal photos done where the ceremony was, gather your troops. Enlist the help of your bridal party. Get yourself and your spouse to the place where the photos will be.

Oh wait. Did your guests leave for the reception? Are they still lingering? Many times, if they don’t throw something at you, they don’t know that they can leave. It’s some sort of psychology that happens. They need an event that tells them that this chapter of the day has finished and that it’s polite and acceptable to move on. If you exit and get into a car/limo/carriage for a ride around the block… know that this will take 20 minutes. It always does. I usually suggest that you exit, wave, smooch, wave, and walk back to where photos will be without conversing, except to grab parents and family members. Time looks like a blender here. Ever try to blend something and then you check it, blend some more, check again, blend a little more? That’s this. We’re done, we’re not, we are. Then there’s one more thing.

Ok now, we’re where the photos will be. Is everyone here? Who’s on a smoke break? Potty break? Does everyone have their flowers? Are all parents behaving civil? (This could be a whole other article based on my own parents). This is when I, mild mannered photographer, go into a mode that I reserve for group photos. I’m never mean. But I like to keep us on schedule. No one wants to be here all day. There’s a reception waiting. And yet, even with this desire to get to a party, not everyone is willing to move very fast.  I try to be over organized for this moment. Step parents? Dates of siblings? Grandmothers who aren’t stable on the steps?  Young ring bearers and flower girls who aren’t hip to your agenda? The aunt who insists on 6 more groups? A missing groomsman? These are a few of the happy things that I add “buffer time” for on the schedule.  I don’t need to mention these to you when we are making the time line.  These are some of the variables that I know can happen. They change the shape of what Time looks like.  They cannot and should not be prevented. But they need their own allotment. Time is a balloon that I’m trying to put more air into without letting it pop.

Now you want to go to a park. And you should. Let’s say that it’s 20 minutes away. And 8-12 members of the bridal party are coming. And parents. I’m going to ask you if you want photos of parents here as well. You might. And if you want them, you should have them. Please give me more than 20 minutes at the park. Here’s the variables that I think about: mud, parking, someone forgets something, parents start to bicker, the guys all bring their drinks with them and have to run them back, goose poop. This is where the time goes.  Time also disappears if the limo driver decides to explore or has to move and can’t come back as fast as we hoped. This doesn’t happen often. But it did happen April 19^th. The trolley driver had to move and we sent a groomsman to go find him. We skipped the next location. And this was ok because we got to the cocktail hour where everyone was happy and relaxed and that’s it. We were there. There was no where else to go. The catering manager took it from there. I passed my baton to the next professional.

Now I can find you enjoying your wedding, the details, the conversations, the formalities. They all flow gracefully into each other with the simple announcement of a band leader or a DJ. The shape of Time is now less lumpy in my mind. It’s a continuous wave of tradition that allows me to find the moments that will occur. It’s like radar to an air traffic controller; you’ve been in my airspace, now you’re in the caterer’s space. You’re the plane that I was directing until I delivered you to the next area. I can still see you and communicate with you. But you’re in someone else’s hands now, gliding along under the care and support of professionals that want you to have a great flight.

The idea of photography on a wedding day will differ from couple to couple, as well as with photographers. If you want to go to several places with stylized portraits like a fashion shoot, add more time.  Consider locations, driving, and traffic. Know your crowd. Be aware of your family dynamic. Listen to your professionals about a realistic time line. But above all, be happy. Be glad to be there. Love your guests. Don’t worry about all the things that I’m thinking about. Add 15 minutes to every part of the day until you get to the reception and it will all be fine.

Jen Capone

Jen Capone Photography has been serving the Philadelphia area and beyond for over a decade. She also provides wedding photography services for the Poconos, Montgomery County, Jersey, Maryland, and beyond.